everybody know its hard to resist temptations when your only a young teenager
i on the other hand, to whom are close to me knows how much fragile i can be. i sometimes get too hooked up with people's criticism and compliment tht without notice, i changed into ths little monster.i admit, i was a trouble kid back then when i was 15. never in my life i thought i will face tht much drama in a very young age. neglected my parents, ditched my old friends, never gave a shit with people's comment, sneaking out and bitched about others. along the way, i lost whom i used to call bestfriend, i truly by ths moment realized my true friends are.
2008, the year when i turned into completely different girl. the year i was suppose to focus entirely on studies regarding pmr was months away,the official big turn on wht stream im going to take the following year but being the sellfsih i am, i set aside my first priority bcse i hv other "important" stuff to handle. the year i truly understande the true meaning of "backstabber". the minute you turn your back, there they go bitching about you all the way. the year i had to ensure everybodys feeling is at a good condition until a point that i neglected my own emotions. the year i first i tasted freedom. going out, coming back every late evening. the year i got into an enormous fight with my bestfriend, after i lost her it finally hit me tht i take life for granted. i never even bother to appreciate wht i have, i have a family tht loves me too much and wht did i do? i fucking disappointed them.
my brothers were worried sick of me, until it comes to a point tht they almost gave up. i cried whenever they come to me explain how hard it is to take care of me since im their only baby sister. mum and i was constantly fighting. we were never on the same page. i felt she was too protective, now it comes to my sense why she did tht all ths while. i was too rebellious too give a shit back then
i was in a relationship, long story short : everything got messed up. i cried every night, having insomnia and even locking myself in the room for hours. not wanting to communicate with people, just being isolated from everyone makes me at peace. listening to emo-ish type songs each and everyday, yeah tht was my daily routine
many people got hurt along the way just because I, a confused little girl did some mistakes. having your really close friend who's been with your for a solid 8 years say only two words "youve changed" really strucked me. when i look back, i didnt know my wrong doings would give such a big impact on people. i was too busy pleasing people and living my life tht i was blindsided that there were people who cared.
2009, i met new friends. friends who slowly by time guided me to the right path. felt ths comfortable vibe being around with them. the feeling being loved. i started to cut my regular outings, i had a stable relationship with my entire family, i gained back my true friends. i learned how to appreciate and treat people differently, not like i used too. when ths such things apparently happen to you in a life time, you couldnt thank more fr wht had happen because if i didnt go through that shit and ths on going roller coaster, i would never have my life that it is now
easy to say im pretty much in a good condition now :)
*and praise Allah s.w.t for that
